Sunday, November 29, 2009
HOROSCOPES MONKEY TRIAL
30 NOVEMBER - 6 DECEMBER 2009
ARIES: A fool and his monkey are soon parted.
TAURUS: This week, a cockroach in your apartment will wake up and discover it has turned into a tiny human. It will, however, get stuck in, and die in, a roach trap.
GEMINI: This week, you will be unable to believe it's not butter.
CANCER: Beware of the handshake that hides a snake. Especially a poisonous snake.
LEO: This week, you will be subjected to a house remix. You will suddenly find that you're a hit in Croatia.
VIRGO: You will discover that you are red-blue colourblind this week: this will leave you unable to discuss American politics.
LIBRA: You'll have to keep taking that ointment for the next two weeks.
SCORPIO: You will wake up one morning this week with a complete stranger in your bed. However, the complete stranger will be in the process of giving you an entirely unsexy blood transfusion.
SAGITTARIUS: This week, you will discover that you have a sixth finger on your left hand. This will explain years of difficulty with simple arithmetic.
CAPRICORN: Time to stop sleeping with a crowbar in your pyjamas.
AQUARIUS: You'll never find true love by Googling “true love”.
PISCES: 2.Your evil twin will wake from a 5-year coma this week, return to town and romance your partner.
Posted by Bungle Jerry at 12:00 PM